You're Still the Love I've Always Known

Happy 40 years!

Dear Readers,

This will be my last post until we get back from celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary, camping with our dogs, in Arizona. I also want to announce something new on the horizon for The Family We Keep. I am welcoming two light-filled contributors who will bring their extreme talent, love for the arts & life, to the pages here whenever the time flows. They will publish individual contributions to The Family We Keep — and, on occasion, we will write & publish “main title works” under a slightly changed quote from Leonardo da Vinci, "It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” These will be “collab” pieces.

So…. you might see a “collab” published piece under the main title "We Went Out and Happened to Things." But you will also see individual contributions from these lovely artists. Please welcome Jenn & Krissy by checking out their profiles on my "About" page.

Happy Easter, Happy Spring! love, deb

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To preface, this is a story I wrote on my Instagram account in 2022 reposted in here in 2023, 2024, and now today, early in the month. When we get home it will be Easter Sunday and our 40th simultaneously. In honor of the miraculous big 40 I think what I wrote below to my husband says it all.

I love that I can post this every year. I also added a video with music :)

Love and marriage isn’t easy. Making it takes two vested people who have the courage to get back up and trust. It’s that simple. Trust me, we have been in the arena. This thing called marriage, life, relationships? well this one was just about pummeled to ash a few times. Whether it’s finding the love you have always known for the first time — or the second and so forth — it’s about the courage to trust one more time. When you have found it put it in the treasure box of your heart.

Tons of faith, hope and gratitude is an understatement. But most of all, love. Loving someone right where they are at. A lifelong lesson we have learned again and again…

"Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time."

–Maya Angelou

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I took an old Marc Chagall postcard, from the 1930’s, that John’s grandmother Yvonne gave me. One of Chagall’s wedding couples. I had our invitations made from it through my work’s “special printer.” Unfortunately, the postcard never came back with the invites :( It was so rare to this day I cannot find it.

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To John,

We met in 1983 at Lucky's grocery store in El Toro, Ca.

You were 21. I was 22, recovering from a bad relationship.

You drove to work in an orange VW Bus, from Laguna, where you rented a room in a big house. I was a receptionist sharing a house with two friends and my sweet rescue kitten in El Toro, California.

The first time I saw you stacking apples, as a produce clerk, I was smitten. It was the way you looked up and shyly smiled at me. This would continue weekly as I began to buy way too much produce. One day I had the nerve to say hi. Several trips later chatting about music and life, it was by the lettuce that a regular customer, a sweet older lady, came right up to you and said "I see you two chatting here all the time. Why don't you take her for a taco or something?" I held my breath as you smiled and said "do you want to get a taco?" That was it. A fast food taco later, we looked across the parking lot, saw a little Mongolian restaurant and decided that was cozier.

For over a year we had a Sunday afternoon date in a red pleather booth becoming "regulars." We spent every waking hour together. When I wasn't in dance class or we weren't working, we were at the beach. One time we drove your bus to Mexico, ate lobster in Puerta Nueva and drove home in the dark. We were a mess from running all over Coronado Beach before deciding to randomly leave the country! It was so windy, you braided my hair and I remember thinking I could be with you forever.

After our first year dating, you wanted to apprentice with your older brother in electrical work and announced you had to move near Upland, Ca. I decided that was too far and together we rented a cabin where you grew up in Mt. Baldy. We knew we wanted to be married so we took one month's rent of $800 and met my parents at the jewelry mart in Los Angeles. We had no idea how we'd cover rent but you said "I'll figure it out."

We married on a rainy day, in our cabin, in front of family and a few friends.

Ever since, we've been figuring it out.

In 40 years of marriage we have experienced extreme highs and lows, hard work, huge responsibilities and so many blessings. I have not one regret. April 20, 1985 was the first best day ever…

“Build Me Up From Bones” - Music and lyrics, by Sara Jarosz. If you hover over the video there should be an option to expand it — or pinch it open if using a phone.

*As you’ll see at the end….

“Nothing's impossible I have found
For when my chin is on the ground
I pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again” - Diana Krall

(songwriters: Dorothy Fields / Jerome Kern)

*When the pandemic hit we spent the first few months creating funny, uplifting songs for our grandchildren. That was one of 5,129 out-takes. Becaaaause. I. Can’t. Sing.

Found these treasures below in one of my many keeper boxes and thought they’d be fun to share.

I ended up in hospital for a week in 1984, while we were dating. John was laying next to me, after hours, with a nurse ready to kick him out and said “I need to get you a ring sometime..” and that’s how the proposal went down. My rescue kitten passed away young and a co-worker gave me the biggest, sweetest Tabby cat named Rudy. John had built quite the impressive cat tree for him. Rudy was deathly afraid of it, so the cat tree became a bird tree outside! It was hilarious in the snow. Even the raccoons loved it. ha ha!

John never dated his cards, but they were in my “first cards to each other” pile :) Treasures.

Found the prettier, richly colored lithograph, like our postcard.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - Love is patient, love is kind…