I will never forget seeing my grandson for the first time at the hospital in an oxygen tent all hooked up to tubes. I had been told that my son-in-law had scooped him up from the floor at the birthing center and ran with him, bundled in his arms, across the busy highway to the hospital. My husband got the news as he was signing escrow papers for our retirement home in Oregon and he drove non-stop for 12 hours or more to get to the hospital in Upland. The next week I went several times a day taking our daughter to the hospital where we were put in a closet and baby, Max, was brought to her (with all his tubes in place) and she was allowed to feed him. She fought for the right to do this and slowly but surely he blossomed. After it seemed like an eternity our first grandchild came home to his loving and thankful family.
Dear Mama, you were my rock and witness. You and dad loved us through it so strong and never made us feel anything but loved during a time that we were reeling inside with shame. We didn't show it during our elation and relief but it hurt inside to know we almost lost our baby. Thank you for how you have loved us all and wanted nothing but the best for us.
This is so good. This is one of the many reasons I really love you: you are honest and willing to turn back any page, sheet, heartbreak or mistake to bring revelation in a poetic but practical way.
A feeling and contemplative heart/brain connection is a powerful weapon, I love yours
Dearest Friend, I cried when I read this. It really validated my deep desire to write, without any education, and to be honest. I love how you spoke so beautifully to me here. You are a blessing and I'm grateful for our friendship. Someday I hope to see you and stay up all night talking. I really love you too. oxox
Lewis!! Yesss! We couldn't remember the beach because we were mostly at south beaches, but we did go to Leo Carrillo! Memories of my Zuma days! Weren't they great! Thank you for supporting me here. I hope you're doing well. I will hug my mom and brother for you when I see them this July! Mom will be 87!!! Sending you much love. oxox
What an incredible story. Life has a way of changing our views. Wishing you a very Happy Mother’s Day. I enjoy reading your life stories you are such a poignant writer.
Joanne, Sometimes our stories are hard to tell. I needed to do it to get it down. Thank you so much for your comment. Life truly does have a way of grabbing us by the throat and shaking us up. Thank you for supporting me here. I can't begin to tell you how much it means. I hope this finds you doing well. ox
May 14, 2023·edited May 14, 2023Liked by Deborah T. Hewitt
My friend How awful! Its sad that trying to follow your beliefs can lead to such self flagellation. You never know another persons true self, The beliefs they hide, because They KNOW they are wrong. And making others second guess their Choices because their inattention is elsewhere, Often on the side of wealth or more money. And I respect and admire you and all the others we left on the front lines of derision and name calling for standing tall for the beliefs we are allowed in a perfect world, I was not allowed to refuse to be vaccinated between my job requiring it or be fired, Something the sole breadwinner can not do AND my doctor, who while meaning well I believe INSISTED that I get the vaccine because with my health conditions I would surely die. I felt backed into a corner forced to put something with not enough testing done, newly created into my body and hope for no serious side effects. Every shot was a struggle to get thru with major panic attacks, The unvaccinated are my heroes. I refuse to judge them for doing what I could not thru fear.
Happy Mother's Day! You and your family are blessings that many do not have. Love and blessings to you my sweet friend and don't judge yourself so harshly. It was an honest misstep and you have Max, Brynn and Ian to show for your large capability to love, See it that way. NOT, "I made and awful mistake." oxoxox
Dearest Linda! my friend! Thank you for all that you said. My heart breaks that you had to go through so much worry and live with the fear of not having a job. So many people in our country were treated so poorly. Not the America my parents brought me to. I respect you and my heart goes out to you. I hold you in my prayers. You are a beautiful soul.
I had to write this story so that I could pass it on to my family. To show them how we learned and why we are who we are. It wasn't a mistake, just a huge learning lesson. All part of a greater purpose and plan. We did carry shame, because it was our baby. Oh man, I could cry every time I have allowed myself to think of it. The impact was big. It set a strong course. Love you. ox
I will never forget seeing my grandson for the first time at the hospital in an oxygen tent all hooked up to tubes. I had been told that my son-in-law had scooped him up from the floor at the birthing center and ran with him, bundled in his arms, across the busy highway to the hospital. My husband got the news as he was signing escrow papers for our retirement home in Oregon and he drove non-stop for 12 hours or more to get to the hospital in Upland. The next week I went several times a day taking our daughter to the hospital where we were put in a closet and baby, Max, was brought to her (with all his tubes in place) and she was allowed to feed him. She fought for the right to do this and slowly but surely he blossomed. After it seemed like an eternity our first grandchild came home to his loving and thankful family.
Dear Mama, you were my rock and witness. You and dad loved us through it so strong and never made us feel anything but loved during a time that we were reeling inside with shame. We didn't show it during our elation and relief but it hurt inside to know we almost lost our baby. Thank you for how you have loved us all and wanted nothing but the best for us.
I love you. oxox
This is so good. This is one of the many reasons I really love you: you are honest and willing to turn back any page, sheet, heartbreak or mistake to bring revelation in a poetic but practical way.
A feeling and contemplative heart/brain connection is a powerful weapon, I love yours
Dearest Friend, I cried when I read this. It really validated my deep desire to write, without any education, and to be honest. I love how you spoke so beautifully to me here. You are a blessing and I'm grateful for our friendship. Someday I hope to see you and stay up all night talking. I really love you too. oxox
Leo Carrillo💕
Great picture, memories of Zuma come flooding back.
Happy Mother’s Day! Hug you mom for me.
Thanks for all your sharing. 🙏🏼🫵🏼
Lewis!! Yesss! We couldn't remember the beach because we were mostly at south beaches, but we did go to Leo Carrillo! Memories of my Zuma days! Weren't they great! Thank you for supporting me here. I hope you're doing well. I will hug my mom and brother for you when I see them this July! Mom will be 87!!! Sending you much love. oxox
Oh my goodness, Deb. Thank you for sharing this. What a horrible situation, I thank God all came out well in the end.
It was very surreal. Thank you Jenn. Also for sharing it. So many times we learn the hard way. God was sure good to us. oxox
What an incredible story. Life has a way of changing our views. Wishing you a very Happy Mother’s Day. I enjoy reading your life stories you are such a poignant writer.
Joanne, Sometimes our stories are hard to tell. I needed to do it to get it down. Thank you so much for your comment. Life truly does have a way of grabbing us by the throat and shaking us up. Thank you for supporting me here. I can't begin to tell you how much it means. I hope this finds you doing well. ox
My friend How awful! Its sad that trying to follow your beliefs can lead to such self flagellation. You never know another persons true self, The beliefs they hide, because They KNOW they are wrong. And making others second guess their Choices because their inattention is elsewhere, Often on the side of wealth or more money. And I respect and admire you and all the others we left on the front lines of derision and name calling for standing tall for the beliefs we are allowed in a perfect world, I was not allowed to refuse to be vaccinated between my job requiring it or be fired, Something the sole breadwinner can not do AND my doctor, who while meaning well I believe INSISTED that I get the vaccine because with my health conditions I would surely die. I felt backed into a corner forced to put something with not enough testing done, newly created into my body and hope for no serious side effects. Every shot was a struggle to get thru with major panic attacks, The unvaccinated are my heroes. I refuse to judge them for doing what I could not thru fear.
Happy Mother's Day! You and your family are blessings that many do not have. Love and blessings to you my sweet friend and don't judge yourself so harshly. It was an honest misstep and you have Max, Brynn and Ian to show for your large capability to love, See it that way. NOT, "I made and awful mistake." oxoxox
Dearest Linda! my friend! Thank you for all that you said. My heart breaks that you had to go through so much worry and live with the fear of not having a job. So many people in our country were treated so poorly. Not the America my parents brought me to. I respect you and my heart goes out to you. I hold you in my prayers. You are a beautiful soul.
I had to write this story so that I could pass it on to my family. To show them how we learned and why we are who we are. It wasn't a mistake, just a huge learning lesson. All part of a greater purpose and plan. We did carry shame, because it was our baby. Oh man, I could cry every time I have allowed myself to think of it. The impact was big. It set a strong course. Love you. ox
❤️. You are welcome. God is good!