All of you on the same page spiritual is beautiful. It may be a beautiful reminder as you said. To cherish those you love. It also could be the holy spirit telling you, John may need some extra love, even if he would likely say he was fine. Our husband's give so much, in the only way they know how. Made me think of my hard working, Love.
Chris! Isn't that just amazing? We were totally on the same spiritual page. I love it put that way. John does need extra love. I can feel it. Our family is being worked on. I'm glad it made you think of your sweet guy. We do take for granted how hard they work. Praying over your whole family too. love you. ox
I spelled it wrong. Anticipatory. As in we are anticipating the loss of someone or something. While my dad was in hospice here at my home... it was two years of anticipatory grief. Uhg.
I am so sorry you lost your dad. I watched my dad slowly leave us over Thanksgiving, Christmas in hospice and pass on New Year's Day 2021. Two years is a very long time in hospice :(. This story was strange because my husband is fine and our son had a bad dream that he died. At the same time I was treasuring his dirty clothing and thinking about the grief my mom was feeling and sent him that sonnet without knowing he reached out to tell his dad about his dream. I pray my husband isn't going any time soon! Grief can take us to very deep places. Perhaps it's how God connects us more deeply to each other. ox
Trudi, I was about to share this privately with someone and I saw your comment that I missed! I am so very sorry! Thank you so very much. I enjoy your writing and look forward to it. I'm having a bit of trouble with Substack. I am no longer in the Notes "Home page" feed (at the top) when I post/re-stack a new story, three weeks now. I am still trying to keep up and read and share other's Substacks but unless subscribers open emails - which email is usually an apathetic chore, my engagement is down. A friend here had to quit as they kept telling her she was a bot? then another friend saw 100 subscribers disappear last week and a few friends are experiencing what I'm experiencing. Also, it's very time consuming to search for new stories if you're not seeing them in the Home feed. I hope Substack can fix things and you aren't having any trouble! Thank you again! oxox
Just wow! Same “spiritual page” moments like this come from the universe I believe… love on your John, but know it means just that, an extra cuddle at night, favorite meal, little gestures, joyful laughing…the reminder to give as well as receive. The last line …”goneness of you” really hits. Know you still grieve your dad…peace and hugs, sweet Deb!
Oh dear friend, I know this page you are on and the spiritual connection, as I feel it so deeply for my mom and for my dear best friend. I take nothing for granted anymore. We just had some great tacos at our favorite hole-in-the-wall for John's birthday ❤️ Blessed to have him all these years.
Deb, I felt this so strongly it hurt. Memories of standing in my Daddy's closet after he "left" smelling him and remembering crawling in his lap for him to read to me even after I learned how. Stroking his beard and smelling the scent that was my Daddy. At 12 standing in my mom's closet, trying to get rid of stuff because I was going away and she was gone and the scent of Jean Nate so strong I was almost choking. I remember praying that I would never have to do that again. I have tried over the years to try and love and live like it is my last day. SO that those who love me wont hurt. But They will. This proves it. Queen Elizabeth said Grief is the price we pay for love but, what a price. I am praying that Ian's dream was about something different, that John will be with the ones who love him for a long, long, long time. Along with Prayers, much love and light my sweet friend. oxoxox
I cried my way through yesterday and I can't imagine losing a parent so young. Scent is such a strong reminder of people we have loved and lost. I used to long for a package from my Granddad in England, every Christmas. How blessed. We would open it and I can still see myself smell all the brown paper packaging. I'd keep the little candy boxes for as long as I could like decorations. I felt close to him. Queen Elizabeth was right.
We both called John throughout the day to tell him to go easy, drive safe and how much we love him. Keeping you in my daily prayers. Don't stop spreading your love and kindness. love you, oxox
This hit me today as well as I was sharing my weekend here in San Antonio with my eldest for his birthday.
I think I told you that I lost my mom to viral pneumonia when I was 9 and she was 32.
David was so grateful I drove out alone (Juan is working a new job and couldn’t come) the 4.5 hours from our home to see him and spend some time with him and today is his birthday!
At lunch today, he casually mentions that he doesn’t yet want to think of a time that I won’t be here (death). He knows that one day it will happen like it did when my mom left for eternity but he wants to enjoy our time together and cherish every moment. I was so touched of how much he loves me. I know I get on his nerves because I want him to do things for himself that sometimes he just doesn’t do and it shows but I have tried my best to keep it together and not lecture my 33 year old single son.
What a joy it was for me to attend his Sunday school time and church service yesterday. So thankful that he is still a believer and my prayer is that he find his way to serve Him more in his church as well as find a godly wife who will be his helpmate.
Oh, how I wish I had some scent of my mother to remind me of her but when she passed almost everything of hers was taken away from our home way back in 1971. Truly no closure for my sisters and I.
So glad you had your dad as long as you did and so many memories to hold on to with your mum.
Happy Birthday to David! What a great mom to drive all that way! I know he appreciated it! I absolutely have held your heart in mine over the loss of your mom when you were so very young. It's so painful and when I see you post about her, over the years, I feel how much you loved her and still do. I had viral pneumonia when I was 17 and collapsed in my mom's car, was hospitalized for week. It is so scary and hard to believe you can be taken from it. You're such a good mom and I know your loss directs you in extra special ways. How fun to be able to go to David's church and see him do Sunday school with younger kids! To have our sons worry about us not being around shows how deep their hearts. It really touched me in ways that I can't explain. We truly have to cherish our time here on earth.
In regards to scent, I am so very sorry you and your sisters were never able to hold onto anything of your mom's. That's so incredibly sad. I was saying to John last night that my mom, who deeply loved my dad, went through a phase of wanting everything gone. I believe it's a common emotion so that those left behind, specifically a partner, don't have to keep dealing with the grief - although they do!! Getting rid of everything doesn't take it away. Going slow is best.
I am truly blessed to have had my parents for so long and being an immigrant with them, my gratitude is an understatement. Being here in America alone with them, I don't know how I would have faired without either of them. I never thought about that until now. It was like I HAD to have them here. Like we would live to eternity, just us 3 and then us 4 when my brother came.
Thank you for this Nena and thank you for reading. It's been a blessing to write my way through grief. To keep creating and showing up. Love you. Love your spirit.
You both share the same love language…serving others. Caring so deeply for every living thing. I know his dream is frightening, but you must look at it as love…extra love.. and focus on your guy, try not so much on your dad. Maybe the two are mingled in your heart… but see it as coincidence and the universe praising the way you both love! 🩷
That poem was gripping.
All of you on the same page spiritual is beautiful. It may be a beautiful reminder as you said. To cherish those you love. It also could be the holy spirit telling you, John may need some extra love, even if he would likely say he was fine. Our husband's give so much, in the only way they know how. Made me think of my hard working, Love.
Saying a prayer for your family. God bless
Chris! Isn't that just amazing? We were totally on the same spiritual page. I love it put that way. John does need extra love. I can feel it. Our family is being worked on. I'm glad it made you think of your sweet guy. We do take for granted how hard they work. Praying over your whole family too. love you. ox
I just love you Joan. Thank you 😘
It is called anticappitory grief. It is truly so hard.
Oh I had no idea. It can definitely overcome you. Have a nice weekend and thank you for reading! ox
I spelled it wrong. Anticipatory. As in we are anticipating the loss of someone or something. While my dad was in hospice here at my home... it was two years of anticipatory grief. Uhg.
I am so sorry you lost your dad. I watched my dad slowly leave us over Thanksgiving, Christmas in hospice and pass on New Year's Day 2021. Two years is a very long time in hospice :(. This story was strange because my husband is fine and our son had a bad dream that he died. At the same time I was treasuring his dirty clothing and thinking about the grief my mom was feeling and sent him that sonnet without knowing he reached out to tell his dad about his dream. I pray my husband isn't going any time soon! Grief can take us to very deep places. Perhaps it's how God connects us more deeply to each other. ox
Yes I got that about your son. Your piece is dazzling. I am having a very hard day.
I am so very sorry. Grief really comes and goes so unexpectedly. I pray you're feeling a bit better. And thank you so much. ox
What a raw piece of writing. And great poem. Really touched my heart.
Trudi, I was about to share this privately with someone and I saw your comment that I missed! I am so very sorry! Thank you so very much. I enjoy your writing and look forward to it. I'm having a bit of trouble with Substack. I am no longer in the Notes "Home page" feed (at the top) when I post/re-stack a new story, three weeks now. I am still trying to keep up and read and share other's Substacks but unless subscribers open emails - which email is usually an apathetic chore, my engagement is down. A friend here had to quit as they kept telling her she was a bot? then another friend saw 100 subscribers disappear last week and a few friends are experiencing what I'm experiencing. Also, it's very time consuming to search for new stories if you're not seeing them in the Home feed. I hope Substack can fix things and you aren't having any trouble! Thank you again! oxox
I’ll keep looking for you Deborah. It’s a shame if Substack keeps glitching. Keep writing! I enjoy your work. ✨
Just wow! Same “spiritual page” moments like this come from the universe I believe… love on your John, but know it means just that, an extra cuddle at night, favorite meal, little gestures, joyful laughing…the reminder to give as well as receive. The last line …”goneness of you” really hits. Know you still grieve your dad…peace and hugs, sweet Deb!
Oh dear friend, I know this page you are on and the spiritual connection, as I feel it so deeply for my mom and for my dear best friend. I take nothing for granted anymore. We just had some great tacos at our favorite hole-in-the-wall for John's birthday ❤️ Blessed to have him all these years.
Our connections are no coincidence. oxoxox
🧡🧡🧡
Thank you so much 🩵✨🩵
Profoundly beautiful.
This means so much. Thank you ✨🙏🏻
Deb, I felt this so strongly it hurt. Memories of standing in my Daddy's closet after he "left" smelling him and remembering crawling in his lap for him to read to me even after I learned how. Stroking his beard and smelling the scent that was my Daddy. At 12 standing in my mom's closet, trying to get rid of stuff because I was going away and she was gone and the scent of Jean Nate so strong I was almost choking. I remember praying that I would never have to do that again. I have tried over the years to try and love and live like it is my last day. SO that those who love me wont hurt. But They will. This proves it. Queen Elizabeth said Grief is the price we pay for love but, what a price. I am praying that Ian's dream was about something different, that John will be with the ones who love him for a long, long, long time. Along with Prayers, much love and light my sweet friend. oxoxox
Dear Linda, I can feel it.
I cried my way through yesterday and I can't imagine losing a parent so young. Scent is such a strong reminder of people we have loved and lost. I used to long for a package from my Granddad in England, every Christmas. How blessed. We would open it and I can still see myself smell all the brown paper packaging. I'd keep the little candy boxes for as long as I could like decorations. I felt close to him. Queen Elizabeth was right.
We both called John throughout the day to tell him to go easy, drive safe and how much we love him. Keeping you in my daily prayers. Don't stop spreading your love and kindness. love you, oxox
Oh Deb,
This hit me today as well as I was sharing my weekend here in San Antonio with my eldest for his birthday.
I think I told you that I lost my mom to viral pneumonia when I was 9 and she was 32.
David was so grateful I drove out alone (Juan is working a new job and couldn’t come) the 4.5 hours from our home to see him and spend some time with him and today is his birthday!
At lunch today, he casually mentions that he doesn’t yet want to think of a time that I won’t be here (death). He knows that one day it will happen like it did when my mom left for eternity but he wants to enjoy our time together and cherish every moment. I was so touched of how much he loves me. I know I get on his nerves because I want him to do things for himself that sometimes he just doesn’t do and it shows but I have tried my best to keep it together and not lecture my 33 year old single son.
What a joy it was for me to attend his Sunday school time and church service yesterday. So thankful that he is still a believer and my prayer is that he find his way to serve Him more in his church as well as find a godly wife who will be his helpmate.
Oh, how I wish I had some scent of my mother to remind me of her but when she passed almost everything of hers was taken away from our home way back in 1971. Truly no closure for my sisters and I.
So glad you had your dad as long as you did and so many memories to hold on to with your mum.
Blessings to you and John.
Oh Nena!
Happy Birthday to David! What a great mom to drive all that way! I know he appreciated it! I absolutely have held your heart in mine over the loss of your mom when you were so very young. It's so painful and when I see you post about her, over the years, I feel how much you loved her and still do. I had viral pneumonia when I was 17 and collapsed in my mom's car, was hospitalized for week. It is so scary and hard to believe you can be taken from it. You're such a good mom and I know your loss directs you in extra special ways. How fun to be able to go to David's church and see him do Sunday school with younger kids! To have our sons worry about us not being around shows how deep their hearts. It really touched me in ways that I can't explain. We truly have to cherish our time here on earth.
In regards to scent, I am so very sorry you and your sisters were never able to hold onto anything of your mom's. That's so incredibly sad. I was saying to John last night that my mom, who deeply loved my dad, went through a phase of wanting everything gone. I believe it's a common emotion so that those left behind, specifically a partner, don't have to keep dealing with the grief - although they do!! Getting rid of everything doesn't take it away. Going slow is best.
I am truly blessed to have had my parents for so long and being an immigrant with them, my gratitude is an understatement. Being here in America alone with them, I don't know how I would have faired without either of them. I never thought about that until now. It was like I HAD to have them here. Like we would live to eternity, just us 3 and then us 4 when my brother came.
Thank you for this Nena and thank you for reading. It's been a blessing to write my way through grief. To keep creating and showing up. Love you. Love your spirit.
Give our love to Juan as well. ox
You both share the same love language…serving others. Caring so deeply for every living thing. I know his dream is frightening, but you must look at it as love…extra love.. and focus on your guy, try not so much on your dad. Maybe the two are mingled in your heart… but see it as coincidence and the universe praising the way you both love! 🩷