Public Gloating

the high road of bullying?

Take the high road | iPhone through the car window

Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice, or the LORD will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from them.

Proverbs 24:17-18 (NIV)

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Our old neighbor, who bred dogs illegally, once screamed at us, “I hope you all get sick and die.”

The knife I felt in my heart wasn’t for us, it was for him. I remember thinking, “wow, careful what you wish on others. How scary for you.”

It was 2003 and my husband was minding his own business mowing our front lawn. The neighbor on the east of us had called the city on the dog breeding neighbor to the west of us. A private feud was going on and we were sandwiched in the middle. We had no clue, that is, until suddenly the neighbor from the west came up behind John, tugged on his shoulders and tried to pull him away from the lawn-mower with his fists in the air. It was a moment of insanity as I was coming out of the house to offer up a cold drink.

In slow motion I watched as John froze in a self-controlled stunned-like fashion with the neighbor to the east driving home at that exact second. She stopped in the middle of the street, jumped out and screamed, “I called the city on you!!!! Leave him alone!!! It was me!!”

Our cowardly neighbor, with the look of snake-like spite all over his face, turned from my husband and the other neighbor and then screamed those words.

Prior to this he had always taken much glee in mocking us and making sure that we heard how loud he was. He kept trying, but with kids watching he was never victorious. In fact when we put a For Sale sign outside, he was unusually gone for two weeks. Our home sold over full price within two weeks and when he got home the sign was down. He never knew. God did that. He went away again, came back and we had moved out. That man was never gone or short on gloating and taunting and he had zero opportunity. John drove back to help our homebuyers a few months later and saw he had his house on the market. It sat for a long time. He lost money. It felt like a powerful testimony to his spitefulness all those years prior.

We were protected, after 18 years of not biting his bait, from his final wrath.

I saw a clip in the news, from a well known talk show, of what felt like a scene from Mean Girls over the firing of one particular man in media yesterday. He mocked them and now it was their turn to stick the final knife in. I think one of the reasons Barbara Walters left “that show” was because she no longer represented it. She was a classy woman and a very professional journalist.

This open mocking, gloating and celebrating the failures of others by professionals and people who hold powerful influence in news, entertainment and social media, from all sides, has become a societal circus.

There was a time, not long ago, where bullying was the tender central theme and discussion shared in media and in personal stories. Confessions.

Now, it seems we are an in-your-face bullying, name-calling, sneering, gloating nation, divided by opinion. Happy for the failures of others. Happy to label, censor, shut down and run from the bleachers to fight the other team fans on the field. That actually happened when I was a cheerleader. All we did was win?

Respect, courtesy and self-control are listed under character qualities. These three are the “exterior” qualities of character. I’ve known plenty of people who get things done, have great courage, are loyal, diligent, reliable and responsible. Without the first three it seems everything else doesn’t count and all the good stuff goes unnoticed, so it’s important to think about.

The last thing we want to teach the young is how to celebrate the misfortune of others or mock others we don’t like publicly. Stand proudly and sing anthems to failure. That’s an ugly low road. Rather, it’s wise to use someone else’s loss as a reason to teach a lesson on how these things happen in life, wishing them well in their future. There will always be people who rub us wrong and we should have a sacred space and person to discuss it with. How do we love our enemies?

Like I said before… check our own selves too. It will come around to haunt..

“If men (if we all) would behave decently, the world would be decent.”
― George Orwell