With love, Chatty Patty ox

Scenes from The Wedding (and that first kiss for Jim-Bob) - with David Harper, Kami Coulter and Nora Marlowe - The Waltons | CBS

I have tried, a decent portion of my life, to find some sense of balance with my Chatty Patty (no Patsy Brimmer punn intended) tendencies. I relate to the line “smile though your heart is breaking” as someone avoids me or criticizes my “exuberant personality.” I smile. I never want to disappoint. I love people.

My insides tell a more humbled story as I apologize, do some self-loathing and just sink right back into that quiet place where there is no talking, sometimes for days, if not weeks with others.

The incredible thing about finding photography, as a career, was the extreme focus behind the camera. Not much time to tap your head and rub your belly at the same time, yet I was required to be human and remember the names of my clients, the schedules and bring out the best in them - so I had to talk a little. In reflection, I can thank my personality for being able to walk, talk and shoot at the same time. When the jobs were over, the pendulum swung to the countless hours alone in an office editing down pictures. Mostly during the mornings, after school drop-offs and very late at night with all the to-dos of life between.

The beautiful thing about writing is that I take in a lot, then write about it. It’s a sweet balance of listening, researching and talking it out as my fingers click the keyboard. It leaves me without much to say in public. I guess I write to shut-up.

I recently came out of my shell. (I know. Weird to say, as most people I meet would tell you I have no shell and chat a lot and am an open book).

I did an interview with Judy Norton on her YouTube Channel for The Waltons and I was so nervous building up to it that it felt like all the years of shooting weddings. Without fail, for 16 years, I’d spend a week overthinking, over preparing, feeling sick in my stomach, questioning my worth and when the day came, I begged for it to “please just start.” All the way there in the car, chatting fast with my second shooter, as if my life depended on it wishing I wasn’t like that. Inner self-talk: All will be okay as soon as I lift my camera. and it was.

I did the same thing with this interview. The week prior was a long self-worth talk, trying to recollect things rarely shared with anyone but family and a few close friends, a reminder to take a deep breath… and then the day came. I was overwhelmed thinking I had only so much time, this one opportunity. It would never happen again and how was I going to inspire so many people out there to keep going. No matter what. What could I say that would help people know they are worthy and have a purpose, while talking about my time on The Waltons?

Success is worth praising and I love being happy for others. When you praise someone for doing good, you receive goodness in return. This experience has been beyond surreal. I have read the most beautiful comments received by strangers, yet I have worn the devil on my left shoulder telling me that I failed due to those few that will never say anything or criticize.

The problem with a focused creative life, not necessarily an introverted life, is that sometimes when you have so much living inside of you, you either stay quiet about it and no one really knows you (not me), or you come out the gate hot like a horse at the Kentucky Derby. Suddenly you’re with people. Some are like-minded. Some are not. You pour. Share. Over-share. It’s good to know who you can and can’t do that with.

I am like the big tortoise in the yard I am caring for. So happy to see a kind person with a flower, eat out of your hand, and eventually go back to my corner. Face inward. Maybe I can stay there all winter, come out in the spring, and begin again.

W.C. Fields said, “never work with children or animals.” He was wrong. Work with them, hang out with them. It’s good for the soul.

I did talk a lot on the two-part interview. It was a near 50 year build-up and there was so much to reflect upon. The entertainment industry, as a whole, is daunting. The Waltons Forum, online, has 11,829 threads. That’s just one area and it’s an original “board” forum. There are many social media fan areas, as well, for this one incredible show.

If I didn’t let Judy “get a word in edgeways,” I apologize. I was an excited, grateful nervous ball of energy with bloodshot eyes (no one could tell).

I had a great time doing The Waltons and the memories are still coming. I also tap danced my way about an A & W Rootbeer commercial, did a lot of print work, filmed some other shows and couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunity to have stepped onto the set of such an iconic production.

If anything can speak volumes... 50 years later, thousands of people still love and crave these stories.

Today would have been creator Earl Hamner Jr.’s 100th birthday.

How I remember Earl Hamner Jr. (w/Richard Thomas on set ) copyright: Photofest

For those of you that don’t know… Mr. Hamner drew on the warm memories of his Depression Era childhood in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia to create the The Waltons. He was a novelist and television writer with eight episodes of “The Twilight Zone” to his credit, before he took an incident from his 1970 book, “Spencer’s Mountain” and wrote/produced "The Homecoming: A Christmas Story," a 1971 made-for-TV movie which served as the pilot for the long-running CBS television drama. I’ll always remember his voice-over narration during each episode.

I celebrate you today Mr. Hamner for inviting so many viewers into your childhood, during some of the toughest times in history. You impeccably wove stories together, as they existed, lending hope, joy and light for all ages. No agenda, no narrative. Just plain and simple life.

Thank you for giving this Chatty Patty, a wide-eyed immigrant girl in America, a chance at something pretty darn special.

God Bless and keep the Walton’s show, the actors, the fans, my new friends and the Hamner family! Thank you Judy for your grace, talent and kindness. ox

Part 2 this morning :)

(Part 1 below)