The Work of a Family

photo essay in black and white

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I was thinking on my walks this week how quiet it’s been since reaching the end of babysitting season as a nana. Seven years came and went fast. I’m sure you’ve sensed it in my writing lately.

I remembered the empty nest feeling, as a mom, when the last child moved to college. West to east coast. The baby hummers were pushed out of the nest, one at a time, by their mama. I watched from the kitchen window. My baby flew too — at the exact same time. God’s way of saying “this is how it’s supposed to be.”

Resist the urge to feel empty.

And again.

Life today does seem extra busy — perhaps even more emotionally detached? — but then there’s far more distraction for families to deal with. I feel sorry for families today. They have to contend with a lot of outside interference. It’s difficult to hold onto your values and age appropriate ways to teach your children.

I understand family life. And exhaustion. Once you’re an adult, the work gets harder. Family life even harder. You have to step up all the time to keep up.

And in that spaghetti noodle of thought I remembered the families I’ve worked with over the years. I didn’t advertise family photography. It’s actually exhausting — the way I like to shoot. I never make anyone pose in any kind of perfect manner. It’s not reality with children (nor with their parents really). Way better to look back at moments of organized chaos and fun.

The memories you leave behind, as a photographer working with people, are just as important as the pictures themselves.

I still love observing family through my lens. I get the calls in the Fall. I observe without my cameras too, like when I look across the street at the baseball games going on — loud cheering — smile — and remember.

This is what I loved. This is what I did. And every day is an opportunity to fill a time capsule. A small legacy.

As I was walking, I saw the picture above in my mind — a new father telling me, without words, how he felt at this moment. A new mother. A new baby. A cautious toddler — watching her personality bloom each time I showed up.

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I met Nicole when I was teaching a photography course. Both Nicole and her husband, Jon, were extremely creative people. She did great in class and learned the art of manual photography. At the time, Jon was a guitar playing youth worship pastor at a local church. Sadly, after the last photo shoot, we moved and life got chaotic with our fixer-upper when they were pregnant with their last child (end of series below). Then the pandemic hit. I miss them. I miss you guys (if you’re reading Nicole). I’m proud of you and Jon. What a beautiful family you are raising. Thank you for the honor and the fun!

The work of a family isn’t easy.

Nothing worth having is.

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Over three years beginning in 2015 - 2018: first pregnancy (with Mustang) — first baby (at home) — family pictures with “3” — second pregnancy (with Mustang) — baby #2 (at home) — then family pictures with “4,” — then, this beautiful young couple adopts a lovely young teen (family photos at home) — a third pregnancy combined with more family photos (with Jon’s beloved Mustang).