The Spectrum of Love and Light

...oceans apart

It was 1966 and my dad was working behind the scenes for Disney.

This was to be my first birthday party in America with school-friends, actually a sleepover, which was very brave considering we lived in a British house, ate British food and said British things in British accents.

So for my sixth birthday, in 1966, six little girls were invited to our home to experience colorful beads hanging in the hallways, a stylish mom cooking up things like fish ‘n chips, a big glass bowl of fruit punch (the kind with the cups hanging along the edge) and a large bowl of trifle for dessert with pastel confetti sprinkled all over the whip cream. They would witness my excitement as we laid out our sleeping bags, nightgowns on, ready for a movie, my dad coming through the door from a long days work to set-up the living room theater.

Dad had the work-perk of being able to check-out a reel to reel movie, large projector and a free-standing screen. Mom trusted him to bring something home that would further the fun!

Little did he know when he saw the picture of the boy riding the back of a 170-pound Yellow Mastador named Old Yeller that my little friends and I would experience such tragedy right before our eyes halfway through the movie. Suddenly, and without warning, the living room was full of crying children. With red-soaked faces, my poor mom had to call each parent and one by one they went home for the evening.

Fast forward to last night.

I don’t know why that childhood memory came to mind, as I was looking for something interesting to watch, but I stumbled onto a Netflix docu-series called “Love on the Spectrum.” The “spectrum” being Autism.

Never being one to take part in relationship reality shows (or mainstream t.v., including the Super Bowl today) I hit the play button and was completely fascinated from the get-go.

We have often heard the phrase about walking in others’ shoes, “Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in his shoes.”

Would we ever know just how complex the human mind is? what each other is dealing with, suffering with, thinking about, not computing at all or computing only in one direction? or many?

I have no real knowledge of the Autistic Spectrum, except for brief encounters with children and friends who are growing up with it and also a son-in-law who worked in an extracurricular care program for many years called “Include Autism” in San Diego, California. I do know that within this spectrum is a world that does not match the standardized world of what is considered “normal social interaction,” leaving Autistic people and those who fall into Aspergers and also Downs Syndrome, all in various mixes with multiple dysphorias, often including OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) without an anchor. An anchor that can only come from a supportive family member or friend. An anchor seen, in the most endearing way, on this show.

As “Abbey” said, when she was young "I identified with Ariel, from “The Little Mermaid,” because she couldn’t talk which is how I felt.” “I didn't feel part of the world.”

What struck me most is how much I fell in love with the parents and family members, who through painstaking efforts helped their Autistic loved ones make progress with affirmation, recognition, and encouragement. Eyes welling, unable to express the depth of emotions, on the edge of relief, to think that perhaps one day their child, brother, sister or friend will find love and carry on when they are no longer able to support them. When a parent of an Autistic child is no longer living. That’s a lot to think about for a parent or family member of a special needs adult child.

Like the sudden shock of a tragic movie, Silver Fish wind around the light above, as we, impatient, have stormed the shore, leaving beautiful Mermaids, 16th century Knights, brilliant Mathematicians, animated Animators, sentimental romantics, collectors, super-fans and poets behind to wonder why the world has no interest.

Without judgement for what is, I encourage anyone reading this that struggles internally or has put their own expectations onto others, who might not be capable of understanding, to watch this documentary.

Then… step outside into the light.

Romans 15:1