The Fly That Got Away

in a world with no time.

Mom, this week at Stayton Friends of the Library Used Bookstore. Wishing.

Lately, I have had held my breath in a silent space, with a guarded heart.

Observation followed by burning arthritis is my mode of blessed operation.

As wars and people continue to rage at home and abroad a young nephew, we hardly knew, passes away, truly unknown to those closest to him. Matthew Perry died the day before. I wondered about the tangibility of bodily presence versus the isolated zoom of a screen, phone call or text. It’s too late. I forgot why I texted you in the first place. But I’m alone in a hot-tub. Alone at your house. Alone at work. Alone in a room full of “friends.” The big terrible thing.

Hold me skin to skin like a newborn baby.

The world has no time.

I landed in Eugene this past Wednesday. The focus was on the rain, the drive, the flight, where to park, what to eat. The homeless. “Look at that poor old dog in his rain jacket, following his homeless owner.” “Sweet one.” We take our seats. The bar is crowded, paraphernalia boring, the back alley mentally raging. The concert was great. At intermission, a t-shirt sold in a bid to support the arts. “Going once, going twice.” SOLD. Nine-hundred dollars. “It’s for my husband’s birthday,” she screamed from the balcony. The band was a blend of Russians and Ukrainians. Their goal was to bring people together to spread peace and unity around the world through their love of music. How lucky are we to see, hear and receive that love.

On the way out, trudging over the autumn damp leaves, a voice asked, “can you spare a few dollars? I’m hungry.” His wise old dog looking up as if to say, “feed him first.”

Once in khaki suits
Gee, we looked swell
Full of that yankee Doodle De Dum
Half a million boots went slogging through hell
I was the kid with the drum

Brother can you spare a dime?
Buddy can you spare a dime?  

The world has no time.

Mom is 87. Her eyes are failing. Every minute of every day she wants to see like she used to. Recognize people in town without feeling rude as they quizzically stare into her face. Reading was her life, writing a passion. Macular Degeneration, blindness and hearing loss consume millions of lives of all ages. Every single day just these two ailments alone make living and doing harder. The world is not kind to those who can’t see, process quickly or hear well. The elderly understand.

The world has no time.

At the end of September mom’s dearest friend of long made the decision that she could no longer cope with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD). So she decided to exit the world. Screens and texts weren’t enough to sustain a quality of life.

The world has no time.

It was my brother’s birthday Thursday. He tried to go to sleep that night with the news that someone he loved, the dearest friend, someone who had everything going for him, success, a beautiful family, home, business, bountiful energy, talent, decided it was too painful to stay in the world. “No one knew what was wrong.”

The world has no time for those who internally suffer, for those who can so easily push everyone away to their screens and their lives.

Hold me skin to skin. Love me.

There was a fly that got away this week. He must have hated the backlash of the rain. You know the extra large one you chased down the hallway, to the bedroom, the corner of the window and back again buzzing to the brightest lamp, landing on your arm, got it!, nope, it’s sitting on your dinner plate….

A mission of utter madness, time is now the currency for the fly that got away while the world silently watches in helpless pain the screens of the loudest screams and corgis dressed up for Halloween and has time for flies in a world with no time for each other.

Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. - Psalm 90:12