The Art of Quality

Peel Me A Grape

My husband (double bass) and L.A. River Stringband busking — because that’s what passion is all about. I owe him a big thank you for his undying patience and support. We’re never gonna stop - til God says so. Fuji X Series

Because I am delirious and recently remembered many past creative deliriums, I thought I would talk about the process of creating a book, or magazine, in this case. Sorry if I’m slurring. It’s not that I haven’t made anything before. I taught myself html waaaay back in 2003, at the age of 43, with three busy kids in the house, and built my first artsy fartsy website, which included a near creative collapse (it happens every single time) — leaving me to think… I might as well be sitting in a bathtub, computer teetering on a board, clip light cord dangling dangerously close to the water, while chomping chocolate and dramatically puffing a Russian cigar. There must be something else I can occupy my time with? Why do I care? Why do I spend countless hours working my way through the process of creating something?

The answer: because it is breath. Passion.

In the last four weeks, we lost a precious dog, I got a head-cold, and during intermittent sniffles, decided I should run back into the arms of the poetry/picture magazine I started in early Spring. Disclaimer: I enter this realm with the utmost hope, faith and love one could muster up. I am 50% 100% positive everything will go smooth. I joyfully go full tilt until I get to the end.

Ask my husband how he felt all weekend:

“Peel me a grape, crush me some ice
Skin me a peach, save the fuzz for my pillow
Talk to me nice, talk to me nice

Send out for scotch, boil me a crab
Cut me a rose, make my tea with the petals
Just hang around to pick up the tab!!!”

I’m making a book darn it!!!

Pretty sure his offer to buy all the magazines and distribute them himself, while my fist finally pounded the floor, was his way of peeling me a grape making me STOPPP!!

Did I mention how bloodshot my eyes have been? “Nah, it’s an eye disease, my cold” I told him.

Soooo, because this is my 65th year (December, and I’m reversing it, although that’s still old I guess) and even my hair hurts from all this creative madness — I decided I would finally finish my first creative poetry book in Blurb’s “BookWright” system. An ease of use, (I’m older now) fluid kinda system that does not sell it’s magazine style books via the big dog of Amazon. Which is totally fine, since Bros Krynn’s Newsletter just did a piece on Amazon’s push of fantasy-fiction-porn. Yuck.

So fine. No worries. No Amazon. But maybe, just maybe shipping is less on Amazon, and afterall, there are a lot of quality friends/artists selling there. Surely, I can transfer this magazine for fun into an Amazon selling soft cover art book because the quality of hardcover, which I prefer, is expensive, and everyone wants cheap, quick, instant. But is this my point? inner thoughts consuming me for three solid weeks — yes! to save anyone that might want it — in shipping fees!! I knew I was going into this as a passion project and never expected to make anything, … well maybe that .17cent configuration after figuring out I simply can’t charge beyond their production value + shipping — on Blurb.

Surely!!!! Amazon can do better!!! Surely!!

When suddenly my thoughts went back to my photography work and potential wedding clients pondering what was more important — the food, music or photography? I really thought they were kidding, but photography had already been cheapened by the digital market and everyone and their grandmother was hopping on board to shoot a wedding — with many successful pros taking along the first iPhone cameras to show the world how it could be done.

My answer: Long after the food and music are consumed, the images of your most special day — will last forever. Not really rocket science.

As the years went by I was forced to release all the files so I could work. No one bought prints anymore. When I first began shooting weddings on film, we charged $30/roll for film/development — and that was incorporated into the overall fee for our “talent, equipment, insurance policy and hours on the job.” There was a certain respect for photography, for the working artist, that we no longer see — and it’s really not the public’s fault :( Last night I was fighting a system so much bigger than myself.

My husband at midnight: “you have been fighting every huge system for weeks now in order to create something that means the world to you. Just distribute it yourself and give up, no one wants to pay that price.”

I sat and I sat and I sat on this new version of my first poetry magazine, knocked down to a standard art book size. I read every single review of Amazon’s print quality for photography, (blah, inconsistent) viewing influencer podcast videos of Blurb reviews, Amazon reviews, books in hand, etc. — knowing Blurb was consistently good quality — and then figured out how to take the Blurb pdf apart and set aside the book cover with Adobe Acrobat Pro, (and btw, it’s not easy to use any kind of software in case I didn’t express that or said it was fluid and wonderful). I used to make books from scratch for clients in a long forgotten format. And, on top of everything else I was doing it in my 40’s/50’s. Refusing in my 60’s.

So over to Amazon I skip deliriously merrily to save money on shipping. Blurb’s $6.99 is over the top I thought — but forget quality quality quality and go for instant instant instant what if a family member wants to hop on and buy it? and I can’t stop them! (such embarrassing shipping fees!)

By the time I had figured out Amazon’s system, and book cover tool, with a 68 page poetry and picture book, knowing that “pages must end on an even number,” not necessarily satisfied with an Amazon style cover “with spine” (which Blurb does not require, a spine that is) but was able to match the font pretty good and put up with their forced title placement (because I just couldn’t start over without passing out), “the system” spoke back to me (again) and said I needed nine more pages in order for it to be satisfiable for print. I slammed my computer shut at midnight determined to create this and end this if just for myself, which is always the original intent — and for maybe that great great grandchild to find me someday….

As of this morning, I am waiting on (extra proofing) one hard copy magazine and one book size, arriving in two weeks — both from Blurb — both costing $20 bucks for Blurb to make, shipping $6.99 — because after configuring a handful of copies, to ship to myself, the cost of good packaging and the best postal service — I was back at square one. It was the price of a dinner burger these days. Fast non-lasting consumption. And that’s not what I am.

I drew even. Blurb.com will be my seller. Both Blurb and I would be the same. Except, in the end, Blurb would package better and for less. This wasn’t a fortune for quality and the art of patience?

The drama of creating things and then skimping on quality? is something I just can’t do. But then I hope Mountain Gazette lasts. They also outsource printing/shipping — and it takes up to two months to receive. It’s special. There is no money in it. Just love.

I went out with my cameras, on every job, despite my huge investment and gave more than indigestion. It’s about passion. Creating something you’re proud of. I think Michael Newberry and most of the creatives I’ve met here would agree.

So I’m looking at October 1st, maybe sooner, to say, “I did this — and I’m satisfied.” I hope to link it here in the Blurb Bookstore. And, if it is to be shared, then that’s what’s meant to be. It’s never been about the money but my almost 90 year old mama is insisting she needs to buy it. I’m crying.

…and peeling myself a grape.

ox

Should I tell my passionate granddaughter what a ride it will be? and to keep going? This reminds me of my first books for my mom or the ones I received as a mom. Never stop. ( Just wish it was this simple :)