Serenity, Courage & Wisdom

a reasonable surrender..

Reinhold Niebuhr, was one of the most prominent Protestant theologians of the 20th century and a Yale alumnus. He has long been considered the author of the Serenity Prayer and was the most influential American theologian of the first half of the twentieth century. He began using the prayer in sermons in 1934 and Alcoholics Anonymous would soon open meetings with it. Recently my youngest son said to me “Serenity Prayer” while talking about our life and told me they read it to their mental health patients where he works.

Reinhold mediated between biblical faith and social issues, religion and power-politics, and surpassed elements of the unparalleled spirit and intricate nature within the human body. He was a “social ethicist.”

His teachings were of Christ-centered principles as in the Great Commandment and the doctrine of original sin. His major contribution was his view of sin as a social event, as pride, with selfish self-centeredness as the root of evil. Interesting for the times we are living in.

There was controversy surrounding Reinhold Niebuhr persisting in the roots of evil in human life. In his Moral Man and Immoral Society of 1932 he stressed the egoism and the pride and hypocrisy of nations and classes. What’s so compromising is his ascent into Marxism. For a man of the clergy it’s amazing to me that he could foster a belief which goes against the divine and individual creation of each human. By their very effort to de-classify people, rendering no classes and equality among the people the people forget that the brainwashing to cleanse us of our uniqueness, and our forging life goals, is suppressed by man himself along the way, developing and leading the way into communism and the classes of the haves and have nots. Leaders vs the people. Always unsustainable. Ironic yet there is nothing new under the sun.

Jesus taught us to sit with everyone, to listen to the indivudual and not work to divide.

We aren’t to look to our religious or political leaders, but to the One and only leader and glean from man, what we can discern as a meaningful and Godly way of living.

On this one famous prayer Niebuhr had it right.

As a follow-up to my last podcast, which was not meant to depress as much as to encourage to “let go and let God,” I’ve spent my week praying deeply for family and friends struggling with horrible flu, pneumonia, and for a dear old friend’s son. When I say “dear old friend,” I am talking about our “British family” friends that we have known and stayed in touch with for well over 50 years.

I woke Wednesday morning to hear that our 89 year old friends lost their only son to cancer that was diagnosed not even a month ago. Younger than me. The whole thing has been crushing beyond belief and there aren’t enough words to express the shock and sorrow we have all felt from day one of finding out. Their only other family is still in England and thankfully flew out a few weeks ago.

As I sat on the couch digesting the news, praying peace over this elderly couple, praying hope and help into their lives, instead of the utter despair they are feeling, it suddenly all made sense.

As I got up and looked at the sign by my front door, it finally knocked me over the head. I thought of my youngest son saying this to some of the most mentally challenged people we can imagine and then I thought of my brother-in-law. For years, every time we spoke or visited, chatted about life, the ups and downs, he’d leave or end the call, saying “Serenity Prayer.” I envisioned this 6’4” presence of a man who was a Lieutenant colonel in the Air Force, flew fighter jets in Korea, did AWACS missions in Iraq and had seen a lot in his life. A well read man, biblical, worldly, politically very savy, even keeled, interested, and fascinated. The salt of the earth.

We bought the Serenity Prayer sign years ago in a little gift shop on the coast of Oregon. Arguing as we drove home, reaching for a sign, hanging it on the wall, carrying it in the car as we moved, placing it room to room as we renovated. I’ve walked past it daily but didn’t break it down. I laid on the couch near it for several months in 2020, crushed, defeated and hopeless.

I have lamented God’s timing wishing I had received the message early on in my life but His timing is always perfect.

The short, standard version, (picture above), is a jam-packed lesson for living. It’s what all those wise elderly people know in church, as they nod to you, while you describe your chaos. It’s the magic glint behind their eyes as they take in your exhuberance, young active family and hurried nature. They know.

Then click. Click goes the simple realization that you have grown up and the only thing that matters is having that cool, calm serenity to accept the things you can’t change. No need to express it all, hands waving around, kids whining at your feet. Take courage and work on the things you actually can change instead of feeling frozen in defeat. Then there’s wisdom. Beautiful wisdom. Do I have the wisdom to know the difference between zero control and making choices to enact reasonable change in areas where I have control? For example., I can’t make a relationship solid on my own, but I can show up. I can’t solve world problems but I can fix my own personal problems, like my attitude or my diet. I can’t stop all the wrong politically but I can do a self-check and make sure I’m not being duped or a hypocrite or supporting the bad choices of others without being fully aware. If I surrender to His will then I know that I can’t cure diseases, save someone from dying, or fix someone else’s personality to suit my own, but I can pray and love over it all. It’s powerful and takes us out of a fixated and panic’d state.

I’ve said it before. Prayer is an endless gift, an act of gratitude for what we have and an act of love for others. This prayer is an act of grace to self, His will for our will, and perhaps that’s a good place to start…

< Full Original Version >

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.