Save The Children

Be the "smart phone"

This is a family story that needs millions of life-lines.

I need to express my utter disgust with the creators of Instagram and all other areas of social media apps that I do not use. I never thought I’d see so much perversity on an app that was intentionally meant for sharing a nice and normal picture in 2010.

In recent months I have looked at the “story viewers” on my IG story posts only to see name after name of the most hideous, sickest sexual names/descriptions, along with a picture, that even in a small box, you feel immediately exposed to something you can’t unsee. Then there’s the never-ending slew of men looking for love and “seeking friendship.” It’s more work to block than post. Kinda funny at first, stupid at least, if not a groomer at worst. I know I can be “private” but if you want to use IG for business exposure, or your art, you’re stuck. Worse, most children and teens are not private with their accounts.

The very thought I have placed my grandchildren’s faces in front of these perverted people makes my stomach churn.

Last night while treating our grandson to In-N-Out I couldn’t help but look over at the table next to us. It was excruciatingly hard not to judge. I know the mom looked tired. But… she had three sons, a young teen on down, and one little girl who couldn’t have been older than six. The reason it was hard not to judge was because their table was loud. It was a loud scene of all three boys on loud phone apps, and a little girl who’s face strained in painful, pitiful expressions, falling into her hands propping up her face, unable to look over at her brothers who were ignoring her anyways. She finally cowered under the table. Mom’s solution was to hand her her phone. At this point this poor child was beyond coping and it hurt my heart. She didn’t want the phone. Although I was 97% engaged with my husband and grandson, and resolved to never have a phone out during family or date time, the other 3% of my soul was impacted.

Why bother going out I thought?

What is a night out? What is a date?

Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s, full of their own decade issues, we had the “treat” of the big screen. The cinema and the drive-in. These “dates” were some of my favorite memories. Our only preoccupation was popcorn and a soda. Then, if you were lucky enough to afford one, you might have a small t.v. in your home. Families gathered around it on a Sunday evening perhaps, for a “variety show” or a movie., or mid-week for a comedy episode of something like I Love Lucy. Most of us weren’t exposed to anything else from a screen. Most of our parents had a clear idea of what was for kids and what was for adults. I didn’t see westerns until I was much older and I didn’t see bad guy movies until I was much older and I decided I didn’t like violent movies.

When we are introduced to things at appropriate ages we can make better, more mature decisions for ourselves. This is not rocket science.

I can remember racing home to watch The Brady Bunch a few times as a kid, but the television was normally not available to us whenever we wanted to watch it. It was a treat. Whether parents stayed home or worked they were already dealing with their kids everyday issues, schoolwork, sports, activities, friend choices and in reflection that was more than enough. A parent who’s “adult magazine” was found, not only gained a reputation, but it took a lot for young curious people to find it. That parent might have been soliciting sex from their car too - but it was considered a crime and shameful if caught. I didn’t know a parent like that - but these stories existed to shock us in the news.

We live in times where “women’s rights” are talked about daily, yet young girls, teens, and women are trafficked daily into sex slavery and slavery in the U.S. and the world. The numbers are astounding., the monetary profit off of the vulnerable even more so.

For people in relationships with domestic abusers? it’s hardly a crime anymore. No one cares. I remember volunteering at a safe-house for the domestically abused when I was pregnant with my first child. I’ll never forget their faces.

We scream “rights” and ignore what’s happening to women in other countries as well. Young men and boys are equally subjected. The average age of those sex trafficked is 11 - 14 years old.

We have the right not to be subjected to this stuff yet powerful business and government quietly encourage it by doing nothing about it. Why would we vote for this?

This is an online stat on vulnerable communities: “Some of the most vulnerable populations for trafficking in the United States include American Indian/Alaska Native communities, lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender-questioning individuals, individuals with disabilities, undocumented migrants, runaway and homeless youth, temporary guest-workers and low-income individuals.”

Never has the devil had such a wide open door to the vulnerable. The distraction of canceling free speech and political rhetoric versus allowing sexual predators and drug/arms dealers to have easy access and expose themselves to our children is horrifying and real.

While we focus on who can have an opinion we are losing our nation to the seediest of creatures. It’s a spiritual battle.

If you want to begin to “save the children” it starts at home. It also starts with a fearless parent. Back in the day when The Sims was introduced, a seemingly light hearted “life simulation” video game., the addiction and attitude I was seeing once the “allotted hour” of use time was over.. was just too much. That game was never seen again in our household from the moment I saw one of my kids being tossed out into the hallway for asking to have their time on it. So.. everyone lost and everyone gained. I knew I couldn’t control what would happen once they left home but I wasn’t afraid to call out bad behavior and nasty tones from this invader in my home.

Recognizing addictive behavior or OCD early on and talking about choices, self-discipline, or talking to a professional can help in the long run. Did you know that we all have OCD in some capacity? according to a longtime doctor in the field of psychology we once spoke to. What I gleaned from him was we can self-monitor, become aware, grow, etc., but when we hurt others or ourselves that’s when it becomes dangerous. OCD can be confusing and a further vessel for all kinds of addiction and we should carefully discern and address this as well.

After researching phones, this is a great place to start: Pinwheel - Pinwheel is a phone for kids to grow with that is completely guided by the parent or caregiver from their own phone.

In light of my recent podcast… and the story of the older person that didn’t want a “Smart TV” —> we need to “BE THE SMART.”

It’s bad enough to write about this and what’s worse is that it’s leading to more isolation, narcissism, drug use, depression and suicide. My heart aches to save.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to parent now., the tenacity and energy to keep the children in our lives safe and strong, un-addicted… preparing them for the hard times and seeing them feel free to experience natural joy and gratitude — but I faithfully, prayerfully.. hope we can.

“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.” - Ephesians 5:11