Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C. S. Lewis
Lately I’ve been very snarky. And no, that is not a word from my newly discovered free subscription to “Word of the Day” in my email box, although I do love the latest word, “Fandangle,” an ornate or fantastic ornament. If only we could all sparkle on a daily basis.
I found myself unable to let go of my little log in the sea. You see, out there is a big bold 1,000 foot long ship just cruising through the vastness… and I on my log.
I missed church several weeks in a row and realized today how much I need to walk in that door, sing the beautiful old hymns, hug the beautiful, loving people, most of whom are elderly and struggling.
Today, I rolled off the log, swam to shore and filled the stubborn, sore holes in my heart.
The last thing I wanted to do was bring my little cold to church, so I stayed away.
You can do all the things at home, study, read the word, etc., yet there is something extremely special about being with people inside of a sweet little church in the center of a chaotic world. Ours is small, diverse, non-political, solid teaching church, growing according to prayer vs. worldly desperation.
Today, sermon was all about the spirit.
So, getting back to my world-driven snarky attitude, I guess God knew exactly what I needed to hear today and that’s how it works with Him. He knew my spirit was tainted, struggling, and drowning on that log. Yet written all through the Bible is how we are to receive “The Fruit Of the Spirit.”
I will admit that I struggle and have struggled through the years to be a good steward of the faith. I often want to go it alone, be the rebel He made me to be, hold onto hurt and cuss at the world, both middle fingers flying at that crazy driver eating my bumper while my grandchild is in the backseat. I can feel the need, yet I refrain.
This doesn’t mean I have it all together. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and can’t stand forced small talk and smiles where there is a great need to mend.. restore a relationship.
It’s hard. I can’t blow it. I have to trust that in time all good things will come, not at my pace (cause it’s so inconsistent), but at His pace (cause it’s Perfect). There is great joy when your heart is set free in the presence of God.
A Spirit presence that fills you up to overflowing, making it easier to pass it on.
All that we hold onto is completely undone.
I want this. The hope and confidence of the big cruise ship. Not the log in the sea life.
I want to receive and give the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. <Gal. 5:22-23">
Last night I finally watched “Under The Tuscan Sun” (2003). Without reading reviews I gleaned a few truths to living in the world and for living in the Spirit. I hadn’t gone to church yet.
Truth is, love hurts. Holding onto pain in your heart when love goes astray is a deeply sad and almost pathetic journey that most of us take. We “hope” we can leave this downhill journey and reach the other side. That side of life where all that we had hoped and wished for might come true. Again.
There is a neighbor who says to the main character, (a divorced and extremely hurt woman who’s entire demeanor looks miserable), “they say they built the train tracks over the alps between Vienna and Venice before there was a train that could make the trip. But they built it anyway. They knew one day the train would come.”
Another flamboyant character told her not to lose sight of the innocence of a child. (Hummm… “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” - Matthew 18:3)
The day came. She looked up and there was joy in the garden, a family and hope for a brighter future. This is life on earth. The slow recovery, over and over again, season to season, a forbearance of what was, and a faithfulness of what could be. A renewed spirit. Love all around.
Amen to those who put hope in the goodness of what is unseen and receive the Fruit of the Spirit.
P.S. My mom and brother are coming to visit for a few weeks :) I’m going to enjoy every minute so I won’t be adding to your email box during this time. If you are reading or enjoying what I write, please drop me a line. I love to write and I’d love to hear from you as well.
Take good care and God keep you always. ox
I Always LOVE reading your articles, you are a brilliant writer.
Hi Friend 😊
Deems forever that we have seen or spoken. I have been praying for your healing and spirit.
I like that movie Under the Tuscan Sun. Keep moving forward. Oh how I would love to move to Italy.
Miss you. Hope to catch up soon. Been going through my own little finding peace in chaos.
Take care
😉🥰