Fear
not.
Hello nuance and darkness, you have arrived. Dead end. Obsessive compulsive, I am not your friend. Secret society where all must adhere, absorbing the pain, dealing with fear. I’d love to be me but your world won’t allow. I’m stuck at a distance forced not to bow. So I ride apprehensive, let love be my thirst. My body is pensive. Dear God, go first. Cause I have to be me while I’m treadin on coals. And I wish it could be. You’d leave the controls. But without your admission I’m leaving permission. I love you that’s all. You can’t. Imagine the ease. I know. Your world is to please. Don’t say the sky’s blue. The china will crack. Debts will accrue and you must fight back. So this inner sobriety, happy anxiety. There’s no other way. Someone must pay. But in the clearance of days, there lies a maize. Of patience. HOPE over utter complacence. So fight on with the growing. The meaning of strife. Your soul truly knowing. This is your one life. Open the door. Confess your affliction. With those you hold dear. You’re dear. Breakup the friction. Fiction. Get rid of the fear.
Is this what You wanted?
I love you.
Hanging on by a thread?
We love you.
On the verge, on the edge?
I love you.
Is this what You wanted?
Standing back
We love You.
Come in..
Love trap
Yeah
I play like a child
Mishap
Free and wild
Scared we’ll mess up
Lead it all astray
Blow it up
Is this what You wanted?
A house on fire
We love You
We love you
Wait
Please
Dear God,
Fear
Not.
If you are living in a world that you don’t understand. A lingering sadness mixed with the anxiety of being yourself. A good and decent self. Maybe someone you love is suffering inside — or protecting someone they love who is suffering inside — and no matter what you do or say the glass is ready to shatter. Could be the way you love when their system shows it differently. Or the way you help. It can be punishing.
This is the second part of my last piece, “Holding Love” with nowhere to land. It’s the agonizing complicated view of OCD in all of it’s nuances and addictions — and the underlying truth that we don’t want to face sometimes. We all have OCD living inside of us. I know this. From experience. But when it crosses a line — when the control is powerfully quiet or even loud — harmful to others or self — it could mean holding love with absolutely nowhere for it to land. Because it’s not what He wanted. Without releasing ourselves to Hope, there is nothing left but fear and control. Without deep empathy and understanding — everything will be set on fire.
Hang onto love. He knows. He sees.
ox
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” - Isaiah 41:10
Such a nice piece, Deb. Thanks for sharing.
Do you ever wonder if He gets disappointed in what He created ?
Or is this about the challenging hurdles needed to justify salvation?